Chapter Thirty Nine

It was a warm spring day, and they were driving to the big water park in Federal Way.  The Tail’s daughters were in the back, and his wife was sitting next to him.  At that time his oldest daughter was 12.  He remembers this because there was talk of what middle school she might attend.  Her younger sister was 7, and she had a penchant for saying things that her mother found disconcerting.

        His wife was leaning away from him with her head against the car window.  She looked very relaxed, and at peace with their day up until that point.  They planned to stop at Southcenter on the way to the water park, and he knew that she wanted to visit a certain store to buy bath soap.  He still felt a pride of ownership every time he saw her.  To see her in her aquamarine blouse and white skirt gave him an almost overriding sense of satisfaction, as if she was living proof that he had made the right choices in life, and had realized the best possible version of himself.  

She spoke of where they might eat dinner after the water park.  She knew of a nice seafood restaurant on the other side of I-5, and she thought that the girls would enjoy a little park not far from it.

        His older daughter had very dark hair, yet in appearance she was very much like her mother.  She had a fondness for pink clothes dressy boots.  She was holding on to the back of his seat and asking him how long they’d be in the mall.  She was already growing too old for the water park.  He imagined that there would be several years’ worth of body-consciousness ahead, several years until she would think of returning to the water park and wearing revealing swimwear.  The onset of adolescence revealed itself in the pimples that adorned parts of her face, and she was still wearing braces at that time.

        Her younger sister looked more like her father.  She was just as chubby as he had been at the same age, she tended to slouch around, and she was drawn to books.  She was reading a book about vampires, and the glint of sunlight from her glasses occasionally drew his attention to the rearview mirror.  She reminded him of himself in so many ways.  He could not help but love her with a kind of desperation.

        The exit for Southcenter came up, and he signaled right for the turn.

It will be noted, however, that during the last fiscal year China’s economic policies proved sound.  2010 and early 2011 saw a steady decrease in the purchasing power of the average Chinese consumer, which is often correlated with the strength of the Yuan and the rising dominance of Asian markets in world trade. 

The Remedy was working at the Safeway then, and on his way to work he would pass by the school where the Tail’s daughters were enrolled.  His work was very far from where he lived – on the other side of Seattle, in fact – and it was an hour’s drive in one direction if the traffic was good.  The exit onto 85^th would have been the quickest way to the Safeway, but instead he took the university exit, and drove in a large circle towards Lake Washington and back.  After completing this circle he took Northgate Way back over the freeway.  

He usually saw the children playing on the playground as he drove past the school, and he thought that a few times he had seen her, the older girl, running around with her friends.  He tried to drive slowly, but the children on the playground were never still.  Their excited screams and shouts flooded into the street that passed the school, and once or twice he caught a glimpse of a dark-haired girl in pink, her face sweaty and her movements quick.

        At the Safeway he worked at the deli counter.  It was his first experience working in a supermarket, and he hated it.  He came home each day with the smell of various meats in his clothing, and no matter how long he showered the smell seemed to remain.  His boss, however, was a quiet alcoholic like he was.  On some level it made their relations much easier.

        He usually got off of work very late, so it was unusual to see the children playing on his way home from work.  Yet one time, while waiting for the light at 85^th and Greenwood, he saw the four of them get out of the Tail’s car and walk towards the Mexican restaurant across from the theater on 85th.  They did not see him.  The light changed to green.  He headed home, trying not to look back in their direction.

The US policy of moving increasing amounts of manufacturing to China has eliminated a host of jobs from the American economy, thus weakening the average American’s ability to purchase goods and services.  While it was once thought that these manufacturing jobs would be replaced by jobs in the expanding service sector, this has not been the case, for the simple reason that many of these hoped-for service jobs are easily outsourced to nations such as India.

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” she told the Tail.  “You don’t try to see it from my point of view.  You’re not really listening to me.  You’re putting meanings into my words that aren’t there.”

        “Fine,” the Tail responded, “But how would you feel if I said something like that about one of my female coworkers?  Or some graduate student that I was around every day?  Would you feel comfortable?  Would you be OK with that?”

        She was silent for a moment.  Their daughters were at school.  He had taken her to this little park overlooking Shilshole Marina, not far from Golden Gardens.  They were sitting on a picnic table, and they had arrived minutes before.  He was taking an extended lunch break.  He was trying to be romantic.  But during the car ride over he had started talking about work, and she had told him (politely) that she was tired of hearing him talk about his work.  Then they had begun arguing.

        He only knew that he wanted her to love him that day, but she felt very far away, and hostile.

        “I’m just trying to be honest with you,” she said, “Or do you want me to bullshit you all the time?  What can I talk about?  You’re so sensitive, and if it’s not you talking about you it’s like we have nothing to say to each other.  I was trying to tell you – honestly – about how I feel.  If you don’t want to hear that, why bother talking to me at all?  Why not just go somewhere by yourself?  It’s just—“

        “It’s what?” he shot back, pointing at her, “Are you trying to make me jealous?  Because that’s what it feels like you’re trying to do.  How do I know you’re not fucking this guy?  How do I know what’s going on?”

        “I’m not fucking that guy,” she said, turning away from him, “And I’m not trying to make you jealous.  Why does it always have to be like this?  Everything just builds and builds, and then you get like… this.  Can’t you just be open with me?  Can’t I just be open with you?  Can’t we have an honest conversation for once?  I mean, if it’s about those magazines I found—“

        “No,” he cut her off.  “It’s not about the magazines.  It’s not it’s not it’s not.  And I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I…”

        While no one imagines that this trend will continue indefinitely, especially since the Chinese political scene remains unstable, it is widely thought that China’s dominance in world economic affairs is likely to continue into the next decade.  American ambivalence with regard to trade policy, stemming largely from the failure of Democrats and Republicans to agree on key economic issues, will continue to weaken America’s presence in markets worldwide.  The Chinese, however, viewing a sound economic policy as the foundation upon which to build international relations, should continue to develop their markets and realize profits through both manufacturing and ever more high-tech industries.

The Remedy was sitting on his living room couch.  The television was on.  The blinds were drawn and it was afternoon.  He didn’t have to work that day.

        Lily, a Cambodian girl who lived downstairs, was straddling him in a pair of purple panties and a matching bra.  His pants were pulled down to his knees, but otherwise he was fully dressed for a crisp February afternoon.  Though still wearing her panties, Lily had pulled them aside to admit his penis, and he delighted in watching her inflamed vulva moving up and down his shaft.  His groin felt very sticky from her juices, and she was kissing him while he cupped her breasts in his hands.

        Then he heard a noise from somewhere behind him, and he looked backward to see the door partially open.  Between the door and the doorway he saw her face, he saw the Tail’s wife.  It was only for an instant and she was gone, but the expression on her face had spoken volumes.  There had been no accusation in her eyes, but he knew that he had hurt her just the same.  He knew that he would be paying for an afternoon’s pleasure with several weeks’ worth of estrangement.

        Lily had seen her too.  “Oh shit!” she exclaimed.  He disengaged himself from her and pulled his pants up quickly.  Lily was not important to him, and very little needed to be explained.  He gave her a regretful look as he walked towards his open front door, but she was not looking his way.  She was searching for her dress behind the couch.

        He ran down the steps to the acacia where his car was parked.  He saw her there in her own car, and she was backing out onto the road.  “Wait!” he said, but she did not look in his direction, and if she had heard him she chose to ignore it.

        He watched her car barrel onward toward the overpass.  He felt very low, but he wasn’t entirely sure what he had to apologize for, or to whom.

        It remains to be seen what role the former “tigers” of East Asia will play in all of this.  Japan, in the aftermath of the Fukushima nuclear disaster, is facing a serious economic crisis.  Taiwan, having exercised sound judgment with regard to both Mainland investments and the need to maintain the status quo, has profited handsomely from China’s dominance.  The cases of Singapore and Hong Kong are less certain, allowing for their shifting domestic policies and the unpredictable impact ASEAN will have on that part of the world.

The Tail had taken his younger daughter to the Seattle Aquarium.  His wife was at work.  His older daughter was at a friends’ house.  The sky was a steely gray, and it was taking all the coffee he could find just to keep him awake.

        They had just opened the ferris wheel behind the aquarium to the public, and they had gone around twice.  After that he had taken her around the aquarium, and she had told him everything she knew about seahorses, otters, and starfish.  She was herself 12 at that time, and the Tail’s father had passed away not long before.  Anything scientific fascinated her, and she was slimmer, more feminine.  She was still his little girl, however.  In his eyes she would always be that.

        After the aquarium they went down to the next pier, and sat eating ice cream near an arcade that had an indoor carousel.  She had chosen mint chocolate chip, and he had chosen raspberry.  She still wore boyish clothes, and she was in most ways different from her sister.

        As they ate a group of Chinese tourists swarmed through the arcade, perhaps on their way to the cruise ship that plied that part of the waterfront.  The Tail briefly wondered if they were disappointed with Seattle, with the lack of clear skies, with the expense, with the quietude of the waterfront on a weekday morning.  Many of the waterfront stores had just opened up, and many more remained closed.

        Through a nearby glass door he saw a dark-haired man in jeans and a heavy coat pass by, arm in arm with a blonde woman who looked very much like his wife.  The couple was some distance away from the door, and it was impossible to see their faces clearly.  His daughter had seen them as well.

        “Is mom here, daddy?” asked his daughter.

        The Tail considered it, but then discounted the possibility.  His wife had told him she was at work.  And why would she be there, outside the aquarium, and not with them?